'Being male, it is sometimes difficult to explain and deal with feelings. There was one moment that after my fiancée had a session with you, she came back, found her voice and finally attempted to understand life from my point of view. She finally understood me! To say my heart broke in a good way is an understatement. To this day I do not know how you managed to work your magic but the effect is immeasurable…Work/family issues pale into insignificance when you have the love of your life given back to you.' [Male partner]

You have been able to make myself more aware of my feelings and also to some extent why I feel them. This is invaluable since now I feel that I have a voice and there is someone there to listen to it, firstly it was you, but now mainly it is me listening to my own voice – that sounds really weird!! Thank you for all your work. My life has improved beyond all expectations. Me and [my partner] have developed a trust that can no longer be torn apart and I feel that we have such a special bond and to imagine that that could have been lost is unbearable. [Female partner]

Late 20 year old couple client

'The initial introduction to the therapy seemed rather daunting but as time progressed it helped in pin pointing problem areas. It has helped me understand my emotions, self awareness, confidence & focus in my life. Our mind sets have changed about how we see husband & wife and allowed us not to be hard on our selves at the same time as dealing with issues. The benefits I have gained affect the whole outlook of my life. Where once I was not able to see ahead now there is a general well being which is enabling me to enjoy life. LIFE IS FOR LIVING. It may not seem that it is worth the money in the beginning, but give it time, patience and persistence and you will be surprised.' [Male Partner]

I have been in therapy for 5 years now. When I first started I was misdiagnosed as an anorectic and relapsed twice from an eating disorder clinic. My first sessions were at home because I was severely underweight and could not drive. Slowly, I gained weight, began to drive, and now help out at our local playgroup and am a classroom assistant in a primary school. My social life changed drastically and I now meet and talk with more people than I did before my illness. I have discovered many interests through local activity groups and regained my confidence for life. I have gained over 27kgs in weight which I have maintained for months and no longer need to check up as before. The endless days when I was swamped with black clouds and constant torment and anxiety have broken into just minutes in which I struggle to regain my peace. And at last I feel like I can recover my relationship with my husband. I can overcome my fears, and it won't be long before I can end them once and for all.' [Female Partner]

Late 40 year old couple client

'Before counselling , I was just a good old dad trying to do his best in the constant fight with my ex-wife. When we fought, it seemed to make life difficult for no particuluar reason and I was treated as if I had no responsibilities or rights with my kids. In all of this I was trying to rebuild my life. Sadly the kids became pawns when what they needed was support and ecnouragement. I was not able to deal with a lot of what was going on for them until it was too late. And then I got blamed for not being there or leaving the marriage. The guilt and feelings of failure was immense and the anger got us nowhere - we couldn't agree or focus on the situation for the kids.

Counselling gave me the opporutnity and understanding of how to help my kids and also myself. Just in time, I was able to get my son and daughter out of really difficult situations at home. When they came to live with me, I was able to have something I longed for for years - watching them grow up and giving them the encouragement, support and focus for success in their lives I couldn't do before. My son did really well at school and has now settled in a trade while doing well at one of his favourite sports. My daughter is enagaged, going to get a flat with her boyfriend, while finishing her college work successfully. It is fanatastic to be with her as she learns how to drive. This is my little pup driving her dad around - unbelievable! We have a much closer relationship than ever before and she recently thanked me for sticking by and fighting for her which made her feel worth a lot as my daughter. I have been able to give her some values that make sense to her in real life.

All our work has also given me more confidence and ability to handle myself in my new relationship. I now know how to handle confrontations in relationships when I never knew how before. I can handle myself in such a different way, more confident, without loosing the other person. I can explain things to my partner so that she does not take things personally or feel attacked by me. I can also see when I am pushed and react in a different way to that. I am more thoughtful about situations, I won't bury my head in the sand and can just say it without crumbling or giving in.

My self belief has returned after many years of darkness, and it keeps me strong. Over two years later, I still come for the sessions because I can be heard and talk freely and just that in itself just clears my head - regarding my finances, my business, and relationships. It helps me offload with the blended family issue of my partner's children in my life where I can offer practical support and real encouragement with regards their future and finances too. We can survive the challenges of very fraught occasions, but keep cool and stand our ground. Help for them is offered on the basis of cooperation not emotional blackmail and manipulation.

Is counselling value for money? It is your life and there is no way you can even count the benefits and I don't even think about it, I just get the regular payments out of the way. We all need it at some point in our lives - the sooner, the better.'

45 year old single parent client, male

'Altogether it was 19 months of counselling. My life was in a complete mess - and it had been for a very long time. I had reached the point where the lack of control over my life was showing in everything. I was in a very emotional state, always on the edge of breaking down and finding it extremely hard to cope. My son was just 5 weeks old and I had two young daughters as well.

Life really was a chaotic nightmare, but I refused to accept or see how bad it all was. I had done a really good job of convincing myself that it was ok to be living like this, that things would improve, when we found a nicer house, when the children were a little older and more manageable, when my partner stopped drinking, using drugs and being abusive.

I went to therapy because I hoped I could help my partner come off drugs and keep the children and us together. I didn't want to admit I had any issues.

I previously had 6 sessions of NHS CBT that helped me to bury all of my deeper issues quite nicely. Starting therapy again was all consuming. It took the first year before I was really down to the core. Trying to get through this final layer, this tight black tar of pain and hurt was really really hard. The knot was bound so tightly by years of self destruction and I was terrified of what I might discover, of what was within the knot. But as I peeled away at the layers and finally reached the end the only thing there really was to be scared of was the fear itself.

The final piece of the puzzle was to work out why I was so literally scared of being on my own - not just emotionally but physically. Once I could handle going to sleep at night on my own, wake up on my own, I realised I did not need the relationship anymore and could finally let go.

I began to find my belief that everyone has the right to feel happy about their life, to wake up each morning and feel ok. My desire to find that for myself, kept me going through all the hard work in the therapy room and as I tried to gain control of my life for the first time.

Being a single parent, a woman and a mother the most amazing thing therapy has helped me to do is to live without a destructive relationship. I can now live on my own and be happy, alone and happy without a man. I feel strong enough to cope with the children, which is so wonderful. We are living as a loving family in a happy, healthy home.

I realised through the therapy that having it all is not about having money, status or power, but just a case of working through the pain of who you really are. Who I am now is a proud reflection of myself and how therapy helped me. This alone shifted all the negative energy and opened doors that have now transformed life for my children and me.

All this feels like the biggest success of my life and that victory has finally arrived. Therapy helped me to reach my goals, come through the blackness, the hurt and the pain and I have found a place where I can be content in myself. I feel as though I am just beginning my life. All that matters is that I know whatever happens I have the strength and wisdom to get my family and myself through it.

Every penny spent on therapy was definitely worth it. You just can't put a price on being emotionally stable and happy. Once you have got happiness and emotional stability in your life, everything else is a bonus.

I did have to get help to pay for the long term, but my beneficiary agrees that it was worth every penny because it came from someone who loved me dearly and if I had to pay that again, I would.

35 year old single parent client, female

back to top